my heart hurts for the first time in a very long time, and it’s a terrible terrible feeling. I haven’t done this in so many years, mainly because I literally thought I was incapable of it. but of course, in the typical fashion of my life, I go ahead and decide to feel for the one person who’s colder and more incapable than me. why wouldn’t I right???
I’ve always liked a challenge, I’ve never wanted the guys who wanted me. I’d cringe at the ones who loved too much, who thought the sun rose and set to my existence, to the guys who felt the way I feel right now when I’d just coldly tell them It was over.
it’s funny how the universe works, how the energy you emit and put out there in the world always finds a way to circle back in your direction. karma baby, it’s a bitch… just like me. we walk hand in hand, and this time she’s got her hands tightly clenched around my heart.
i knew there was a reason why I didn’t do this…. I just couldn’t remember. but after how I’ve felt today…. the question is, how could I forget?
*written on a plane somewhere between San Francisco and NYC around 430 in the morning… in a drug induced haze*
