almost

i recently stumbled upon a song by marc cohen, called “true companion,” that i have loved for years, and also haven’t heard in years.  well maybe just one year, since it’s only existed on my old ipod up until a few weeks ago.  an old ipod i that i haven’t listened to since buying my new one, about one year ago.  an old ipod that has now found a new owner, in my mother, since i gave it to her as a mother’s day gift; jam-packed with jams — mommy jams.  ah, how i love home-made gifts.  nothing better.

but back to my point…

in my opinion, this is one of the most beautiful love songs i’ve ever heard.  it speaks to my heart, as many songs do, but not this closely, and not on the matters of love; which i find difficult to identify with these last few years.  but here, marc cohen has captured what i strive and hope for in a relationship — in a true companion.  as i’ve always been a believer in fate and destiny, in mates of the soul, and two beings eventually finding one another down the lines of time and the paths they’ve crossed.  i don’t mean this in the sense of being born into a life where someone has already been pre-determined to be the “one” for you, because i don’t believe in that at all.  destiny is not something you are born in to.  fate is not something that the heavens just decide over coffee and crumpets.  they are elements of life that come from time, from experiences had and decisions made, from actions taken and paths followed, from people loved and people lost.  it’s an accumulation of all the things you’ve seen and touched, did and were, do and are.  you create it, from start to finish, in everything you do.  and it makes up who you become — you make up who you become.  you learn yourself and and who you are.  you come to know what you wish for out of life, and who you wish for in life.  you come to realize your soul and what it’s made of, and all the things in a person that will compliment it, and in turn the type of person who just might turn out to be, your true companion.

and that’s what i hope and wish for in my future.  my far future, but nonetheless, all the same.

on an even deeper note, in my true companion, i hope to find a man who loves and feels for me the way that marc cohen loves and feels in this song.  i hope to find a man who, too, is able to identify with this song, the way that i have.  because this song speaks to my soul, and and in turn, so does he.

the fact that this song has actually got me thinking about love right now is something crazy in itself.  makes me almost want to feel it again.  almost.

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